Sunday, February 22, 2009

I think some things are just common sense...

I live on campus and had to go out of town over the weekend. Before I left, I tidied up my room and locked my door.

Now let me give you some background info about my living situation. I have a 20-year-old roommate. We live in campus housing. We have separate bedrooms and share bathrooms. We both usually leave our room doors open and unlocked and only lock the house door. However, when we go away for extended periods, we lock our bedroom doors as well. She sometimes goes in my room and uses nail polish remover, some perfume, things like that. I don't mind as long as my door is open. Occassionally, I will go in her room and look in her full length mirror. Back in January, my roommate gave me her ethernet cord because she no longer has a computer. Whenever she needs to use it, I do not mind her getting it if my door is open. If its not, I will give it to her as soon as I get home.

Okay so back to the present...I had death in the family and was away to attend the funeral. She called me Saturday at 11:59am. I texted back when I noticed the missed call, saying: "I'm in a funeral. What's up?" I never got a response. So I left it alone. I figured if it was major she would have texted me.

So I just got back to town and sat to my laptop, which I left locked in my room, to complete some work online and noticed the ethernet cord was missing.

I immediately began to backtrack in my mind...When I brought my things in, I opened the door dropped them in the room and left with the door open, maybe she grabbed them then. I know it was still connected when I left because I left the computer on with the internet up.

So I called her to find out whether she got the cord.

"Hey Roomie!" I said.
"Hey" she replied.
"Do you have your ethernet cord?" I asked
"Oh, yea. That's why I called you yesterday. I needed it so I called the Community Assistant and had him open your door so I could get it." She said.
"Wow!" I said. "Ok." and hung up the phone.

After sitting there for five minutes thinking about the situation, I got irritated.

I called back and explained. "I'm not mad with you. Its the principle that you didn't think that you should tell me that you had called someone to open my room door while I was away."
She said, "Well, you go in my room all the time."
I said, "Yea, to look in your mirror not take something and I would definitely never call a CA to open your room."
She said,"well he didn't go in your room he just stood there!"
"That's really not the point. The point is you had my room opened without telling me. THe same way you called me you could have left a message saying that you need to get the cord and was gonna call the CA. I would have said ok. Its the principle."

She still doesn't understand.

She goes out of town and leaves her alarm on, and it rings all morning and day long, I let it ring. I wouldn't call a CA to go in her room to turn it off. I could but I wouldn't volunteer for anyone to go in her room without her permission. When we have 'surprise room checks' I call her to let her know that someone has been in her room at that exact moment.

Maybe I expected the same courtesy? I don't know.

I would think that an principle like this one would be a common sense thing. I just don't get it. I guess eveyone isn't taught the same way...but seriously, if I gave you the key to my house and say, "this is a spare key in case I lose mine," would you take my key and go in my house while I was out of town, without telling me?

What's your take???

Wishing you peace,


  1. When I lived in off-campus housing my father gave me a chain lock that I could lock & unlock from outside my door. I'm big on privacy. What u consider a courtesy isn't everyone's idea. Good luck with that!

  2. Unfortunately everyone isn't gifted with common sense. I guess your roommate didn't understand she had violated your personal space. You did the right thing by addressing the situation immediately. Hopefully from now on she'll respect your personal space.

  3. CapCity, that's so true. I sometimes forget that my manners are not universal. I just have to revert to the philosphy: 'what's mine is mine and whats yours is yours.' I hate that it has to be that way but it will keep the confusion down...and my doors are going to be kept locked from now on.

    Thanks for commenting.


  4. Hey Victoria, thanks for commenting. You are right she didn't and still doesn't understand but thats fine. I'm not mad with her, just want her to know how I felt. Even if she doesn't understand it, hopefully, she will respect my perspective.


  5. Hey Sis....
    I remember those days. Roomies with the "what's yours in mine" philosophy. NOT!! Its a matter of respect, consideration and privacy. And some people simply don't get cause they don't want to...

    Keeping you in prayer with this one!! :-)

  6. Thanks for coming thru and posting and for the prayers. I have a feeling that I am going to need every single one, Ms. 'Cilla!